Compulsive

Trigger warning; mental health, trauma, violence, death, dying.

My new born, my first baby was less than two days old, I was in hospital cathertarised, jelly legged, vaginally ripped open and sewn, in pain and drugged. My planned water birth had spiralled into a 20 hour hell that concluded not in theatre but certainly in an acute fear of my own death and my almost to be born babies death. Were we close to death prob…